 
					
							neotype2001
							Member Since October 19, 2009
						
													
											
	
	
	
		Strange questions
	
	
		by 
					 Devilstale
	
	
		 5383 days ago
				Devilstale
	
	
		 5383 days ago
	
	
		
			
									 neotype2001
			
			
				 5855 days ago
								neotype2001
			
			
				 5855 days ago
			
		
		
 Devilstale
	
	
		 5383 days ago
				Devilstale
	
	
		 5383 days ago
	
	 neotype2001
			
			
				 5855 days ago
								neotype2001
			
			
				 5855 days ago
			
		
													  
						-  
						6 
						 + 
					
										
				Like the previous reviews, i'll go ahead and reinstate what they told you already. You need to read over your work CONSTANTLY. It sounds as if you just wrote it in one sitting at your computer. Readers hate seeing grammatical errors in something they are
				
		
	
	
	
	
		The day my sister was home from school
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				i hope that you're 12 or english as a second language student, because this was a god awful attempt an english. The wording was so broken up I couldn't understand half the fuckin story. I'd give it 0 but you can't. Have someone else type your ideas from n
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Small Town Girl
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
											
												
										
				you started off setting up a good story, but then it seemed like you got really lazy. This could have been 10 pages instead of the 1 paged attempt you gave. You should also proofread your stories. Grammatical errors are unpleasant in any sex story.
				
		
	