 
					
							cmbench
							Member Since October 19, 2009
						
													
											
	
	
	
		Swimming Time With Sister
	
	
		by 
					 aabbdd112233
	
	
		 5383 days ago
				aabbdd112233
	
	
		 5383 days ago
	
	
		
			
									 cmbench
			
			
				 5855 days ago
								cmbench
			
			
				 5855 days ago
			
		
		
 aabbdd112233
	
	
		 5383 days ago
				aabbdd112233
	
	
		 5383 days ago
	
	 cmbench
			
			
				 5855 days ago
								cmbench
			
			
				 5855 days ago
			
		
													  
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						10 
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				Best ending ever on this site!
				
		
	
	
	
	
		My sister
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				Aaaaaaa!  You were doing great until you got to the pool part, at which point it seemed like you were in a rush to finish the story.
Revise and extend it, starting with the pool part, then re-submit it.
	Revise and extend it, starting with the pool part, then re-submit it.
	
	
	
		My Girlfriend's Mom
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
											
												
										
				Well done.  Not groundbreaking, yet still, an attention grabbing story.
				
		
	