 
					
							Rum
							Member Since October 19, 2009
						
													
											
	
	
	
		Sarah's Early Training
	
	
		by 
					 RedHeadLover
	
	
		 5510 days ago
				RedHeadLover
	
	
		 5510 days ago
	
	
		
			
									 Rum
			
			
				 5856 days ago
								Rum
			
			
				 5856 days ago
			
		
		
											 RedHeadLover
	
	
		 5510 days ago
				RedHeadLover
	
	
		 5510 days ago
	
	 Rum
			
			
				 5856 days ago
								Rum
			
			
				 5856 days ago
			
		
													  
						-  
						3 
						 + 
					
										
				This is a good story but it seems too matter of fact. develop the story, don't just make it a narrative. It will "play" better if it's a true story not a narrative. INHO this could be SO fuckin' hot if you tell a story not just relate what happened.
				
		
	