 
					
							Lazerous
							Member Since October 19, 2009
						
													
											
	
	
	
		Stranded at sea with mom. part1
	
	
		by 
					 mind_warrior_2000
	
	
		 5170 days ago
				mind_warrior_2000
	
	
		 5170 days ago
	
	
		
			
									 Lazerous
			
			
				 5169 days ago
								Lazerous
			
			
				 5169 days ago
			
		
		
 mind_warrior_2000
	
	
		 5170 days ago
				mind_warrior_2000
	
	
		 5170 days ago
	
	 Lazerous
			
			
				 5169 days ago
								Lazerous
			
			
				 5169 days ago
			
		
													  
						-  
						0 
						 + 
					
										
				This is a great chapter! Word of advice: you do have some grammar mistakes and try to make shorter paragraphs. So however many paragraphs you have now, if you double that, it would actually be a lot better!
				
		
	
	
	
	
		The Audrey Blake Experience
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				great story could use a better ending though.....
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Michelle. Big and sexy
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				wonderful story, wish it was a little bit longer or if you would write a sequel!
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Mia Suocera - My Mother-in-Law Ch. 01
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				how do we understand this?
				
		
	
	
	
	
		An Encounter with Janice
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				great story but wheres the picture?
				
		
	
	
	
	
		To Take a Thief - Chapter III
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				man....i want my own cuban maid.......
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Sleep`n  with mom6
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				Not even a break between sentences!  You have a big spacing problem among others.
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Texas
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				Punctuation rules need a review and try to put a bit more content and make each section LONGER!
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Ms Erikson's cock
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				hope you write more
				
		
	
	
	
	
		She Hulk goes wild
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				Story is pretty good, try ending it a little better. You  were doing good for the beginning and middle of the story but it seems that the ending was kind of rushed.
				
		
	
	
	
	
		To Take a Thief - Chapter 2
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
												
										
				Wonderful addition to the last chapter.
				
		
	
	
	
	
		Aunt Serene (My Best Friends Mum)
	
	
	
	
		
			
			
		
		
											
												
										
				great story! good to see you back!
				
		
	