User InnocenceAngel | Commented

jordan6989 5384 days ago

InnocenceAngel 5856 days ago

- 6 + I'm going on a limb here, and say you've never written anything like this before. First off all, it was pretty good for a first draft. Though I have to say, the only part that I saw the most clearly was when you guys were having sex, (not like that's no

Breeding Slave by

Masters_lilcocksucker 5384 days ago

InnocenceAngel 5856 days ago

- 4 + you have a good start I'll say that much, which is why I clicked on the link in the first place, I liked your summary, however that's only thing, I agree with what others have said, except the flames, you need more detail and also you need more descriptio

Teacher teach so meany things! by

hott_surfer109 5384 days ago

InnocenceAngel 5856 days ago

- 3 + This story has a lot of potential, I like your idea of a plot. You did a very good job of describing Kelly the main girl. However, just a few things. Explain a little more in the beginning why is it just the two, and everyone else in on a field trip, di

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